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The Purge

The Purge 

 So as I embark on yet another new journey in this life. I am met with thoughts of what coulda shoulda woulda been once upon a time........

You know the thoughts I'm talking about; What if I would have graduated from the first program I started? What if i would have gotten that job my baby father blocked me from getting? What if I were still friends with my best friend who stopped speaking to me when I got saved? And so on and so on. 

Your probably wondering what does this have to do with The Purge; I'm getting to that. 

So the last time I had down time before a new journey began God clearly told me to PURGE MY APARTMENT! 
Distraction was afoot and the purge never took place. 
Now here we are present day, preparing to go to go back to a program I was unable to complete due to domestic violence. With tons of down time before the program begins. And the command to purge came in loud and clear. 
And so I PURGED. 

Its really crazy how much old stuff I was just holding onto. Almost hoarding in fact! 

*GEM* God can't bless you if your hands are already full. You are blessed to be a blessing. Release to Receive (and for clarity sake no I am not saying give so you can get, more like clearing out so you can be prepared and in position for whats coming) 

But as I sorted through papers I became overwhelmed. I began to feel unworthy and like a failure. 
Exactly how many unfinished projects  was I going to come across?
How many reminders of the woman I used to be? 
How many dreams differed........ 

Once upon a time I did have dreams, dreams to be a Paralegal. 
Dreams to make a difference. Dreams to connect and empower woman.  Dreams to be more than just a statistic. 
But then a bad relationship put those dreams on an indefinite pause. 


*GEM* Who you choose to "Build" with will determine what you build and what you don't. Choose wisely. 

For awhile I did not dream because life had become a nightmare all its own. 
Every single time I made an attempt to further myself the one  had chosen to Build with sabotaged and tore it down. 
But let me say this, a person can only do to you what you allow them to do to you. And we accept the love we think we deserve. So something in me thought this pseudo love was what I deserved.  
I lost Shakira in those years.......

I became solely focused on being a mother. And checked out mentally when it came to love.

*GEM* Love Starts With YOU

Back to The Purge 

So I purged.......
So many purses and clothes and papers and Cd's and papers; did I say papers......
*sigh 
I have no real excuse except laziness why these things had piled up to this mountain of  nostalgia. 

As my boyfriend and my sons carried out the multiple bags of my past, packed up into shredded paper and lavender scented garbage bags......something shifted. 

There seemed to be a fresh wind flowing through my home that I had not felt in quite some time. 

The lessons I take from The Purge are these.

God gives you glimpses of who you will become. When you see her, will you have the faith to feed her or allow fear to starve her?????
I think I have always  known or at least had an idea of who Shakira Syn would be but never truly believed it until now. The purge showed me that even then when I thought she was lost she was there. 
Still Fighting 
Still Shining 
Still Writing 
Still Inspiring Others 

Who ever God has called you to be, remember this; she is Still in There. The finish line has not moved. GPS Gods Positioning System is still working. 
She may not be in the capacity that you think she should be, but all the lil instances she was able to come to the surface are preparation for whats to come.  

Be Blessed Fabulous

Syn  


P.S. Shout out to my son Jordan as I am writing this he came in from a interview and was offered the job!!!!!!!! Yayyyyy Jordan!!!!! ProudMom.com
I told ya'll Fresh WIND!
Your obedience to God even in the smallest way(Shakira throw out that old crap already) effects those around you (your children, your spouse, your family members).
Delayed Obedience is Still Dis Obedience. Imjusayin 




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Location: New York, NY 10014, USA

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