Experiencing Grace “I do not at all understand the mystery of grace- only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us." -Anne Lamott Hey everybody  If you are new here;Welcome. I Am Shakira Syn. Many of you know I am in school....again I haven’t shared with you guys in the past week or so as I wanted to be fully immersed in the process of starting school. *GEM* Being Present is A Gift   Don’t take the moments for granted. So as I’m writing this I have completed my first official week at Grace. Today’s blog will be my thoughts & tidbits I’ve learned about myself during this week. I’d love for you guys to join me for this journey. Be sure to comment and share. *GEM* Our testimonies aren’t meant to keep hidden away. Let’s dive in shall we..... Orientation, was probably the most powerful gathering I’ve been to outside of church. It’s something about a room full of women on the verge of change. The e...

Free Your Mind & The Rest Will Follow  Have you ever had a conversation that gets you to thinking.......and questioning aspects of your life?  I was told the other day paraphrasing  "I don't look like the type that struggles to get up in the morning.  It seems like you just get up and go......" So I pondered  What has happened to my Get up and Go?  I used to be that girl.... up at 5am, workout, dog walked, quiet time with the Lord, lunch packed, makeup and hair, plus dinner in the slow cooker all before work! *POW*  But as of late I've been in a season where my spirit has been bruised (I refuse to say broken cause I'm not built to Break!!!)  However my scars were beginning to show more outwardly.  Running late, morning struggles, issues with my diet, trouble focusing, not wanting to even leave my house let alone my room,headaches, back aches, knee aches You Name It!!!!!! (insert Shirley Caesar squall here...

Self- Esteem Revisited Why Is It Soooo Hard To See Ourselves The Way GOD Sees Us? self-es·teem ˈˌself əˈstēm/ noun noun:  self-esteem confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect. "assertiveness training for those with low self-esteem" synonyms: self-respect ,  pride ,  dignity ,  self-regard , faith in oneself;  morale ,  self-confidence ,  confidence ,  self-assurance "the best thing I ever did for my self-esteem was to divorce Roger" So I posted on my Facebook page asking "Self Esteem..... Thoughts?"  Only one person braved the comment section.  To sum up his response Self Esteem is not Biblical. As I read his response my thoughts swirled......." Why cant we see ourselves the way GOD sees us?" (in my best Carrie Bradshaw thought bubble voice) I will be honest this notion has only become clear to me in my most recent years.  We live in a societ...

When I think of someone putting their story into words, I think of someone sitting at a typewriter and typing away.......  I had a typewriter growing up and spent countless hours writing on it. Poems, stories, songs (the infamous "Please Be Mine" was penned by yours truly) . As I Purged last week I came across some of my writings........  I was instantly brought back to the exact place and time they were written even the thoughts and feelings.  One stuck out in particular.  My first spoken word piece after being saved. The Whispers...... I don't know about you but all my life there has ALWAYS been somebody whispering something!  *GEM* There will Always be someone saying something. It isn't about what they say. Its about how you react to whats being said.  So I thought I would share "The Whispers" with you all  Whisper    to   speak   with   soft,   hushed   sounds,   using   the ...

The Purge   So as I embark on yet another new journey in this life. I am met with thoughts of what coulda shoulda woulda been once upon a time........ You know the thoughts I'm talking about; What if I would have graduated from the first program I started? What if i would have gotten that job my baby father blocked me from getting? What if I were still friends with my best friend who stopped speaking to me when I got saved? And so on and so on.  Your probably wondering what does this have to do with The Purge; I'm getting to that.  So the last time I had down time before a new journey began God clearly told me to PURGE MY APARTMENT!  Distraction was afoot and the purge never took place.  Now here we are present day, preparing to go to go back to a program I was unable to complete due to domestic violence. With tons of down time before the program begins. And the command to purge came in loud and clear.  And so I PURGED. ...

Learning From The Past....... Have you ever thought back to a specific moment in time where everything just went completely left; or the entire bottom fell out????  I don't know about you but I have a couple of moments......  When you think or reflect on those moments what do you do? As of late I have been trying to find the lesson in the moments.  There was one  in particular...... Picture it Sicily (any Golden Girls Fans)  Anyhoo About 5 years ago I was working for a private doctors office down by Wall Street and was presented an  opportunity to take a State Job. Working for the Department of Mental Health as a Mental Health Therapy Aide (Glorified Babysitter of Adolescents with mental issues). Now most everyone was on the  bandwagon take the job its with the State!  Is it just a New York thing that City and State jobs are so highly coveted no matter what the job title???? Asking for a friend~ *GEM* Every Good Idea isn't...

Build Boundaries NOT Walls........ Finding a Balance Between the Mary  & Martha Within  Now this is a *GEM* I cannot take credit for. It its courtesy of my Diamond of a Deacon Stephanie.  Sidebar: She spoke this *GEM* as she prayed for me during a extremely rough patch this year( be mindful who you let pray for you and over you more on that later) I truly don't think she knows just how much she blesses me. I believe I will send a card saying so. My grandmother used to send cards for EVERYTHING!!! I never fully understood why, now that I am older its all making sense. So in this instant microwave society we live in; its something about going to the mailbox and receiving something written from the heart.   Anyhoo back to the actual topic.  This year I have learnt  the hard lesson of not being able to let everyone in, not sharing every single thing in every moment & most importantly venting to anyone other than GOD. This can ...

Hey everybody,  So it's June 11th 2017 about 3 hours before my 35th birthday and I am in a reflective place as many of us become before birthdays.  I haven't blogged since 2012 and soooo much has changed and transpired.  The level of transparency of this post may make some people uncomfortable and that is just fine with me; nothing changes in the comfort zone.  This year has been HARD .  It started with a job that I just knew was perfect! Dysfunctional is an understatement. Mind you it was a " Christian " institution.  *GEM* Just because something falls "technically" under a particular umbrella does not mean it carries all the characteristics to truly be worthy of said title. (this also goes for people) Nothing about this place was Christian except the name.  While working there, something in me thought it was a good idea to go back to school, and I  will be honest that was a fail of epic proportions .  My attempt to balance scho...